I'm home now. I have a cute little internship playing with software and wires.
And I'm bored.
Really bored.
So... blog post. :)
On the bright side, I've recently discovered vlogbrothers, two very nerdy brothers. They're pretty awesome.
This guy:
Professional writer of tear-inducing literature such as The Fault in Our Stars. (If you haven't read this, you ought to. It's pretty good.)
And this guy:
Biochemist who runs the website
http://www.ecogeek.org/. They epitomize nerdiness.
What else is new in my life? Not much...
So, since there's no new news, let's make a list. This is especially for engineers that need help in this area. I love lists!
How to impress a girl: (Please note this has only been tested on nerdy girls. I have no idea what normal people like)
1. Listen to her. Girls love to have their opinions heard.
2. Tell her she's beautiful. We live in a culture that tells us from the time we are young children that the perfect woman looks like this:
Seriously, her waist is smaller than her neck. That's not normal.
As a direct result, I have never met a woman who honestly believed she was beautiful. Never. It's sad. The culture needs to change, but changing an entire culture takes decades. For now, tell her she looks lovely. And mean it. Also, try not to get impatient when we take too long to get ready. We're trying to impress you, and in this culture, that means looking beautiful.
3. Make eye contact. I understand that this can be tricky, but I believe in you! It's a tricky balance, but here's a good rule of thumb: Look at her for five seconds, then look away for a moment.
4. Brush your teeth before the date. And chew minty gum. And apply deodorant. Bad hygiene is the number one turnoff to most girls.
5. If you think that the last one didn't apply to you, you are wrong. Like, Anderson wrong.
Brush your teeth. Take a shower. Apply deodorant. Repeat daily. I beg of you.
6. Respect her. I know this sounds obvious, but given the way some guys act... it's not. She is not an object. She is a human being. Don't do anything to her you wouldn't want a boy to do to your future daughter. Don't hold her hand or cuddle (or engage in any physical conduct, for that matter) if you have no intention of dating her.
7. Open doors for her. This is a sign of respect. Ladies like gentlemen.
8. Talk about stuff. If there's anything important you want to know, bring it up. It's a moment of awkwardness followed by a much more comfortable relationships.
9. Once a month, we will get pretty cranky. This is due to a surge of hormones and the fact that our entire body feels a bit like this:
You think there is a level of sarcasm in this, but I can assure you there is not. Remember puberty? That gross time when your body was obviously trying to figure out what on earth it was doing, and failing miserably? It's like that, only more consistent. We don't mean what we say and start crying at dog food commercials. Ignore any insults we may give. It's the hormones. Just give us chocolate and tell us we're pretty. Then give us space. Or, if you're brave, bring along a Disney movie and tissues. Massive man points.
10. Figure out what fandoms she belongs to, and ask her out accordingly. Good luck!
Have a great day!
